How to build a relationship with good foundations
At a time when light relationships seem to predominate, there are many people eager to form a lasting couple. A relationship is constructed from the desire and from the decision. For a structure to be solid it has to have a good foundation.
Many people dream of finding the love of their lives and imagine a Hollywood movie scenario in which they will live happily and eat partridges. It happens, as in the cinema, that people meet and fall in love . But, for a couple to be born and grow in a healthy and nutritious manner, there must be a decision on both sides. If you are willing to undertake the adventure of love with someone, you have to be prepared for:
- Facing a project of two: all very fun with a romantic weekend on the coast. But a relationship is much more than that. Are you willing to be empathetic, supportive, tolerant and a partner? Then it is likely that your desire to have a life partner can be reflected in reality.
- Accepting the other: This means welcoming the multiple dimensions that each being has. , like it or not. We are all lights and shadows. Of course people can evolve but we all have a history, a personality, dreams and fears. When two beings meet, they also find their two Universes, probably very different, and you have to work to live together.
- Wanting to share: Many men and women say they want to be with someone but they are not willing to resign any of their structures, acquired habits, spaces or times. There are couples with greater liberties than others but building a relationship requires the willingness to share with the other.
- Respect the other person: Even if it seems to fall out of maturity that respect is A fundamental requirement in any relationship, many people communicate by the negative, based on criticism and sarcasm. If there is no respect, whatever the order of life, there is no good foundation.
- Appreciate the good that the other person can offer : we all want to be recognized and valued. The psychologist John Gottman calls "teachers of relationships" those people who have that mental habit for which they look for things to appreciate, things to say "thank you." At the other extreme are those who focus only on the mistakes and shortcomings of their partner.
- Achieve flow with the changes: most couples born of the passion that awakens the falling in love The "butterflies in the stomach" last for a while and you have to have the emotional intelligence to make those flying bugs turn into projects.
- Be open to dialogue: a receptive person to exchange points of view with maturity, usually works well in their family, work, friendship and couples. On the other hand, people with an exacerbated susceptibility, always on the defensive and who believe they are the navel of the world, often provoke conflicts and intrigues.
- Stimulating desire: It is clear that sexual relations will be modified in the course of a relationship. Perhaps they gain in quality, as the other is known in depth. They may not be so intense or frequent after a while. The important thing is that both members of a couple feel that they are "seen" by the other in their complexity of body and soul. The desire must also be stimulated so that it stays alive.