How to re-couple after a separation
When we separate from a beloved couple, from many years of relationship or that whom we love leaves us, our first reaction is usually "I will never love anyone again". Fortunately, it usually is not like that. The important thing is to be able to mourn the loss and thus be able to bet on the love of a partner again.
When the one we love very much or to whom we have a lot of attachment for shared history, On our side, it is logical that emotional storms follow and we go through different moods. Those who feel that they are left without their love usually go through different phases, including denial, anger, sadness and, finally, if it is a healing process and well resolved, acceptance of the situation. It is important to be able to walk through every step of the process and not escape pain to finally be able to heal the wounds of the heart.
Although it seems contradictory, pain can be a great teacher to face a new and a nourishing relationship.
Here are some questions that can help post-separation:
- Do not ask "why me" > but try to see, although it is not easy or immediate that this situation of loss will leave many learnings. The bad and good moments that are shared with another person always leave teachings if you are willing to apprehend them.
- Avoid feeling like "victim" or guilty of the situation. person has stopped loving us or prefers to face other paths, does not put the full weight of responsibility on our side. To dance the tango you need two. Placing yourself in the victim's place tends to lead to a repetitive and unconstructive story that takes us away from our own growth and, at the same time, keeps people away from us.
- Do not catalog the separation as a "failure". The only failure in life is not to try what you want.
- Whether you have been the victim of a deception or something that feels like a betrayal, Nothing contributes to clinging to negative thoughts like the idea of revenge or resentment. To "clean" the mind of these toxic thoughts is essential to remember that nobody belongs to us, that people have different times and we follow different paths at the evolutionary level, with successes and mistakes.
- Make an effort to, Gradually, we can "let go" to that other person who is no longer in our life physically, even if it remains in our personal history and in our learning.
- Go through the pain without trying to escape from it. Make the duel thoroughly so that, once a new person arrives in a sentimental life, it does not become a depository for open wounds, frustrations and reproaches of the past.
- Encourage to leave the comfort zone. Explore new human groups, study a language, call old friends, find a love in a dating site ... And, fundamentally, free yourself and others' prejudices.